Sneaking into the auditorium for the Windows 2000 launch rehearsal

The Windows 2000 launch in San Francisco was accompanied by an expo, and a large number of Windows 2000 team members were dispatched to run the various booths and stations, give informal presentations on the new features of Windows 2000, and answer technical questions from the various attendees. And from among the people who were sent to the expo, a smaller group was selected to attend the launch event itself in person. Related reading: A ticket to the Windows 95 launch. After a few of us arrived early at the Civic Auditorium for the launch event, we had to entertain ourselves until the doors opened. There was some speculation as to who the celebrity host would be, since it hadn’t been announced. One of my colleagues tried to sneak into what looked like a VIP tent.¹ I, on the other hand, went exploring. I found an unlocked door that took me into the empty upper level of the main auditorium. I took a seat and tried not to be noticed. The stage was set up with a 10-meter tall mock laptop, screens to the left and right of the stage for projecting slides, prerecorded videos, or to get a better look at on-stage close-ups, gray curtains unobtrusively hung to shield from view what would turn out to be various surprises throughout the event, and various other desks, demo areas, and even an airplane cabin set.² While I sat and took in the complexity of the stage, there was an announcement that they would be rehearsing the opening in one minute. The lights dimmed in preparation. The lid of the giant laptop closed very slowly. About ten minutes after the announcement, the rehearsal actually began. The laptop lid opened, and on the laptop screen, it looked like someone was signing into Windows 2000, and then the mouse clicked the Start button. This led to a video montage, and when the montage was over, a voice announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Patrick Stewart!” Oh my goodness, Patrick Stewart is going to be the presenter for the Windows 2000 launch! Mere seconds later, onto the stage bounded… a crew member wearing a headset pretending to be Patrick Stewart so that the camera and lighting crew could make sure they were properly positioned. Okay, that’s the end of the rehearsal. The lights come back on, and the auditorium once again buzzes with the sound of equipment being moved and people discussing things. I left the auditorium and went back to join the crowd of people waiting to get in. I didn’t tell them who the host was. The event itself seemed to go off pretty much as planned. With the real Patrick Stewart. Patrick Stewart had such a commanding presence. If he had come out on stage and announced, “It is the dawn of a new era: The era of lime Jell-O”, people would say, “Yeah, lime Jell-O, I need to upgrade to lime Jell-O.” But instead of trying to spark a new dessert trend, he talked about Windows 2000, reading words from a teleprompter that he almost certainly didn’t understand, but he made them sound great. ¹ My colleague eventually returned with a Commemorative Edition boxed copy of Windows 2000. ² The airplane cabin was used for a sketch that demonstrated mobile business computing. The demoer took their laptop on a plane trip, where they happened to sit next to a character named William Wentworth, portrayed by actor John O’Hurley, president of William Wentworth Worldwide. (He gave his email address as www@www.com.) The sketch demonstrated infrared file sharing and other mobile scenarios. Remember infrared file sharing? Of course you don’t.